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Balancing your PhD and your personal life

PhD student studying with dog

Are you currently studying for your PhD?

Are you looking for ways to avoid burnout and keep on top of deadlines? In the below article, we shall look at tips on balancing your PhD and personal life.

1. Become more productive

Many people would agree that we waste lots of time without being consciously aware of it. You may fight your way through congested traffic commuting to university meetings which could easily be done via Zoom. You may set yourself some fluffy action points or goals and have vague intentions to follow up on them. You may spend hours filing emails when you should really be writing a chapter.

Ask yourself: What are the three activities you do on a regular basis which lead to wasting time? Which one would you like to eliminate in the next seven days? What could stop you from succeeding? How would you know when you have made some significant progress?

You can find a list of productivity applications here.

2. Communicate regularly with your supervisors

It is essential that you maintain positive relationships with your supervisors, and you regularly communicate with them. Some supervisors expect you to write up your notes after the supervisory sessions and send these via e-mail. You would need to keep detailed notes of the supervisory meetings and write these up in a timely manner.

From time to time, you may find some elements of the supervisory relationship challenging. As an example, your supervisor may have unrealistic expectations over the timeframe available. You might need to wait a long time for their email responses, or you could find their feedback too harsh. If you feel frustrated, it is best to let off steam first and talk to a third person such as a trusted friend. When you express your thoughts out loud, you will see the situation more clearly and develop a plan of action.

3. Keep in touch with peers

Those students who belong to a supportive peer network often find their academic studies easier. You will be able to share knowledge with other PhD students, express your thoughts, share some of your challenges and ask for others’ opinions. It can be helpful to be part of a community of doctoral researchers and the friendships that you create could turn into collaborations later in the future.

4. Follow your own pace

You might know other doctoral students who produce outstanding work. They think quickly, they are proactive, and they are always upbeat. At times, you might find yourself comparing yourself to others and feel that you are not good enough. Instead of comparing yourself to your peers, it is best to think about how to do the very best you possibly can. Do not waste time feeling despondent. Instead, brainstorm what you can do to further develop your skills and your research.

5. Write as you go

Do you tend to engage in lots of reading and find that your writing is not progressing? It is important that you continuously write and make progress. Some students tend to leave writing to the last minute and experience lots of pressure to meet deadlines. When you keep on track with your deadlines and follow a plan, you will feel more in control. The act of writing will help you to clarify your understanding of the research area. If you need to adjust the direction of your research, your supervisor will be able to advise, and you will have sufficient time to act on the feedback.

6. Manage self-doubt

You might find that your confidence fluctuates from time to time. There could be periods of calm and confidence, followed by strong feelings of worry and doubt. It is important that you start noticing the triggers which make an impact on your feelings. Do you have a presentation coming up at a conference? Are you working on a new chapter which you find challenging? Are you collaborating with other researchers who may be more accomplished than you are at this stage of your career? Observing what triggers the self-doubt could help you to come up with some specific actions to handle these better.

You might find the below resources helpful:

How to overcome impostor phenomenon by American Psychological Association

Mind Charity (supporting mental well-being)

7. Consider saying ‘No’

At times, you might be asked to volunteer on committees, organise events or mentor other students. You might feel tempted to accept these however you could regret your decision later. To help you make better decisions, you could discuss your thoughts with a trusted friend or peer. Here are some questions which you could consider:

  • Have you already done something similar?
  • Is this opportunity likely to come up again in the future?
  • Do you realistically have the time to take this on?
  • What are the potential pros and cons of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’?

8. Reflect on your actions:

Take a good look at your actions. Are you wasting time to avoid getting started? Are you checking and liking and commenting on social media just to distract yourself from the task? If you find yourself regularly procrastinating, ask yourself why you keep putting off the task. You might feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work, feel physically exhausted, lack crucial skills or do not believe that the work is meaningful. Use a journal to acknowledge your feelings. Express your concerns to an empathetic friend. Look deeper into the cause of procrastination with curiosity.

If you would like to read more on self-reflection, there are many resources available.

9. Manage your energies

Dealing with knockbacks is easier when we are physically cared for. Skipping meals, dropping good exercise habits, and being wired on caffeine can lead to feeling emotionally vulnerable. If you look after your body, you will be able to face inevitable life stresses. A postgraduate student, called Sue, recently admitted that she started skipping lunch in the hope that she would get more work done in her lunch breaks. She stopped going for a brief lunchtime walk and stayed in her office working on her dissertation. She realised in retrospect that her increased irritability and headaches were all connected to missing breaks. She noticed that her productivity decreased as a result of not eating.  Every day challenges affected her more and she felt drained by the end of the working day.

10. Celebrate small achievements

You would need to take the time to celebrate achievements. Have you received some positive feedback from your supervisors? Have you achieved one of your milestones? Do celebrate all your achievements, no matter how small or large.

What jobs can you get with a PhD?

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Henrietta Nagy

Henrietta Nagy is a seasoned portfolio worker with over 10 years’ experience in the UK education sector. Henrietta writes educational content, designs academic courses, delivers university lectures, mentors entrepreneurs, and provides career development coaching. One of Henrietta's recent organisational clients is the Oxford University where she has facilitated over 100 hours of learning events. With 9 years of higher education studies internationally (including an MBA), she has worked with CEOs, academics, scholars, managers, women entrepreneurs, academic administrators and other consultants.

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